A little death around the eyes

Every single thing you said to me,
Leaves me wanting more,
I want nothing less than to agree,
All I need is my score

Fickle boys through and through,
Money no less than they deserve,
Beaten and bullied, their hatred grew,
Feelings and secrets, they must conserve.

Rent boys I envy, the rich I pity,
Life is wasted on men who smoke,
Old bore against young so witty,
This fight is clearly a joke.

Feelings enrichen my life all the same,
Hatred brings the best, hope the worst,
Mistakes cause me to change my name,
Everything about me is cursed.

Gay guy struts down the street,
My eyes wander to his path,
I see the way he swaggers and glides, so fast,
I wonder who will feel his rath.

Rain falls across my land,
Litres and litres cover my eyes,
Blinded from the water, I stumble,
Crashing and falling to the floor,

I wake up in a daze,
Nothing around but parasites,
I must be dreaming, its a mistake,
I scream out, pulling at my hair,

False feelings and friends hide the truth,
Nothing alive causes me joy,
I walk up and down the beaten track,
Some day I will be gone.

Boys beat boys, like the same,
Girls beat boys like men,
They all hurt and they all fear,
Everyone the same in the grave.

Days compare so diverse,
I want to leave start again,
Forever my friend, I need more time,
Passion the only feeling left.

I write and write my thoughts bare.
The bright screen conveys my life,
I find it sad, what i have become,
Like a lone traveller, fleeing from the mess.

Some day I will change, some day soon,
I will leave this island the same,
Noone will talk or even care,
My life on this page laid bare.

Things go so well and then you stumble,
You fall and break, others laugh,
Eating their cheers, you grow bigger,
Stronger, faster, smarter,
Your motivation massive, your heart pounds,
You feel the need to fight, the need to stand up,
But what can you do, so helpless!,
All on your own, nothing surrounds,
But the others and fear,
You stay down, don't even try!
All is yours, but wanted no more,
You lay there and die.